Beautiful holiday with the fam.
Hope you all had a great one with yours.
Heard from Doug today.
Seems Dan is ok and chirping at Doug for now.
I had told him I was busy.
It seems he’s on a train
he can’t get off of.
This is how it is with mental illness.
Perhaps this has also been aggravated by medication and physical issues.
I won’t call it illness.
They just exist in their own world.
It seems Dan’s family doesn’t want to see him now.
It makes me very sad.
Dan has always spoken so much about personalism.
For myself, my family and the connections I have are the meaning of my life.
When we live for missions, we destroy the meaning inherent in our lives.
I don’t believe in or accept missions.
I think missions are mental illness.
Mental illness is caused I feel when our bodies cannot connect to our essence.
The body fades and degrades faster in this state.
I do feel Dan is fading away.
It is probably best to leave him be.
He can drown you if you get too close.
Unlike Ron, I have only pointed Dan back toward his life.
Not beyond it.
I do not know Ron and the Princess and their friends.
Doug is the only human being I have found in their orbit to date I have personally connected with.
Perhaps I only see them through Dan’s warped lens, being a human who chooses to see the best in things, I assume Dan has been projecting his inner mania onto all of us in a way.
Missions are for egos who can’t find the real meaning in their lives.
Missions serve the interests of other forces and egos.
I tell you one thing I know to my core.
God has no mission for you.
My view and experience of God is love.
There are riddles before us to be sure and to engage with them is to be drawn deeper into love and closer to the source.
But this experience is healing and I have found, pure joy.
Ecstasy even.
You exist here to experience this I feel and you can go as deep as you can into life, into yourself.
That’s my smelly
view anyway.
For the missionaries, I feel deep sadness for you.
Missionaries are only seeking what they feel they lack.
But truthfully, they lack nothing.
Quests followed and completed though ultimately show you this.
So we may all need to go on one big quest, one heroic journey.
But once the connection is reestablished, rest and relax.
Stay vigilant against your own evil and ignorance from then on.
Careful.
You may end up babbling in a hospital
I have done my best to ease Dan’s pain and share the love within me.
Is there anything else to do in true friendship?
If I see a wounded bird, my natural desire is to offer aid.
I feel very fortunate to not have lost my mind.
I feel very fortunate to be able to enjoy my garden.
I feel very fortunate to have my family and friends and my dogs.
I know I have a rich full life lacking nothing.
It is when we feel we lack something that we are most vulnerable.
To stand before the Devil or God seeking nothing seems to me the supreme act of gratefulness.
We have all we need.
It is only us who cuts ourselves off in confusion.
I know each has to find their own way back.
We can only point and encourage, we cannot do another’s work.
Sometimes the greatest mercy is to leave someone in their confused state.
They have to work it out.
It would mean nothing if you didn’t do it yourself.
I wish all of us restored connection and awareness.
I remember the storm.
I remember the pain.
I remember the seeking and confusion.
And the doubt, oh that terrible doubt.
But I will enjoy my rest now and I wish that for all.
“But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveler returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have,
Then fly to others that we know not of?”
—Shakespeare - Hamlet
Yesterday at 12:26 pm by dan
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